Marriage, though challenging, shouldn’t be that hard. The problem is that most people have a convoluted view of marriage. There is so much junk that has been circulated about being married, that most single people believe it and then bring it right into their marriage without question. Some newlyweds see marriage as a complex and complicated thing that the thought of “the first three years are the most difficult” become perpetuated. Getting rid of all these nonsensical clutter can give a couple marital bliss right from the get go.
1. Entertain a daily positive outlook on marriage:
Stress, concern, and fear comes with a negative view of anything new. Conversely: joy, expectation, excitement comes with a positive outlook when entering any new challenge. Remember: you get what you’re looking for.
2. Choose to grow together:
Marriage is God’s magnificent tool for personal (and population) growth. The challenges that two people face in a committed, loving relationship are some of the most divine avenues for growth – especially when there’s no room for divorce. Viewing any conflict or disagreement as a way of tweaking personal philosophy or views in light of personal growth will help you achieve oneness with your spouse. Remember: what God has put together no man can put asunder.
3. Draw up an identity:
Single people, especially those who come into marriage later in life, have their own established identities (i.e. business man/woman, adventurer, loner, etc.). Marriage is the challenge of bringing together these identities into one, manageable persona in what I call the “Marriage Identity”. This “Marriage Identity” will help your marriage work through the challenges and difficulties of two individuals learning to live together – through fusion rather than confusion. Set a goal early on in your marriage of what you will achieve and become together. Remember: in marriage, two become one.
4. Spend time together:
You’ve heard this before. This is simple, but it does have to be thought out and figured out. Know what type of “time together” your spouse is looking for and give it to them. Over time, you both will find a common expression of this valuable commodity found in any strong marriage. Remember: you got married because you couldn’t stand being apart for too long.
Keeping your marriage simple will go a long way in helping you achieve what you expect out of your marriage. The simplicity of a few seconds of sharing an “I love you” or a few hours of discussing your “together” dreams, can help your marriage navigate past the old misconceptions into happily, daily after.